Explaining to anyone how autism has affected my life begins with this. In the world of autism, God’s Grace is found abundantly.
His name is Jacob and he is my first grandchild. This precious baby boy arrived 12 June 2006 and he was perfect in every way.
How can it be that when I least expected it, autism arrived and moved into my life?
I humbly accept and acknowledge that God, the Creator of all, must have determined me strong and capable enough to support every aspect of Jacob and his parents journey. Most days are joy filled, some days not. That’s life with or without autism. Most times all I have to offer is my love, free and endless…love. Indeed I am blessed to be grandmother to this child. My thought process has truly been shaken as I try to understand this diagnosis. I think bigger now. I think outside of the box. I think out loud and very open hearted to anyone who could possibly know an avenue to help support this child. I pray bigger, stronger and with more specifics than I ever thought was possible and as time passes, my prayers have evolved to include those of gratitude. How can I possibly find gratitude? How can I not?
Watching Jacob grow, I have seen and felt his confidence, fear, joy, understanding, strides in learning, frustration, tenderness, determination, milestones with communication, wonder in his eyes as he views and questions his world…but most of all his ability to love. This young boy has stretched my mind, my heart, my entire world in ways I could never have imagined. Young Jacob is perfect. Perfect as my grandson, a brother, a son, who he is, who he isn’t, who he may become, who he may never become. Jacob is exactly who he is supposed to be.
I hold strong to the belief that every day, life offers us the opportunity to be either a teacher or a student. This journey of autism, demands that we be both in the quest for answers.
Jacob has autism, and Jacob is a very special gift from God that I am grateful for.